The Three C's of Motherhood

When my children were young, they loved to play with toys that allowed them to be creative. They would play with little wooden logs called Lincoln Logs and build all kinds of little log cabin structures. I would watch them at times create buildings that were top heavy and would fall over while they were building because the foundation was not strong enough. They soon learned that they needed a solid foundation on which to build if their little buildings would be built strong. Once their foundation was strong, the possibilities of what could be built would be endless. Parenting is very much the same way. Our children are all uniquely created by God. I have one son and four daughters, each have their own personalities, weaknesses, and strengths. As a mother, I can see the endless possibilities in each of their lives. As a “new” mommy, I dreaded my children getting older. I wanted them to be little forever. However, as my family grew, I learned to enjoy each stage of their lives. Now that my children are almost all grown, I think back to their younger years, and I am thankful for Godly counselors that taught me about the three C’s of motherhood. The three C’s of motherhood are consistency, communication, and camaraderie. These three will help build a solid foundation as you raise your children for Christ.

The first “C” in our foundation is consistency. It seems like it would be so simple to be consistent as a mother. However, my observations as a pastor’s wife helped me recognize that this is indeed a difficult thing for many mothers to do. Yet, the Lord has not left us without an example, for He Himself is consistent. “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.” (Hebrews 13:8) The ability to be consistent as a mother is one of the most important parts of having a strong foundation in your parenting. The rules that we set yesterday should be same today, and continue on tomorrow. If we continuously alter our rules based on what kind of mood we are in, then the rules might change daily or even by the hour. When we are not consistent it breeds confusion in our children and brings instability to the home. This is due to a weak foundation in our parenting because of our inconsistency. We need to be consistent in our words, deeds and in our love. Our children should see us teaching them the same thing consistently through our actions. The display of our love toward them should not change because they have displeased us. Another pastor’s wife told me once that as a mother I needed to have the ability to “turn on a dime”. As mothers we need to be able to correct in one instant and hug them in the next. We must be firm in our correction without holding a grudge.

The second “C” in our foundation is communication. This is a fundamental for any relationship, especially a parent-child relationship. To be honest this is the one that I struggled with the most. I thought my communication with my children was good; but I am thankful that the Lord brought to my attention that I indeed had a weakness in this area. There are numerous Scriptures that tell of the importance and quality of our communication. The verse that truly spoke to my heart the most was, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29) I realized that my communication needed to edify my children and that I needed to use words that would minister grace to them. This greatly helped me to improve my communication and has enabled me to enjoy a depth of communication with my children that I did not have before.

That leads us to camaraderie. I am immensely enjoying this stage of motherhood. When there is camaraderie there is a special trust and a unique friendship that exists between parent and child. This is a result of establishing that solid foundation in the lives of our children. I believe that consistency and communication do not cease when your children get to this stage, it is just as important as before. With camaraderie you will begin to reap the benefits of the labor you invested during their younger years. When we follow God’s plan in motherhood, we will find that it is such a wonderful blessing. It takes a special effort to be consistent, and to communicate, and to build the camaraderie with our children. Yet with such a foundation we are preparing our children to be used of God in a special way.